Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Discuss female chastity and chastity belts
Post Reply
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

Hello everyone.
This is my first time post in these forums.

I would like some advice regarding keyholding. I am a heterosexual male and a recent female friend of mine had requested a few weeks ago that I accept the keys to her portable safe and that I refuse to return the keys to her until a specified date in over a year from now.
Though I found the request to be strange, I accepted anyway and asked no questions about it since I got the impression that she felt uncomfortable discussing it.
Just a few days ago though, the topic of the keys surfaced and I learnt that she wears a chastity belt and that the safe to which I hold the keys holds the keys to her chastity belt. She had also mentioned that she suffers from 'a sexual addiction' and that that is the reason she had bought such a belt and the safe, and why she asked me to hold the keys because she felt me to be 'understanding'. She must have meant 'non-judgmental' because there is much that I do not understand.
I asked about safety, and she said that she keeps the safe at home (or hotel room if traveling) and that in a medical emergency a professional could break the safe open so not to worry. She also reassured me about hygiene, saying that she made sure to buy the appropriate belt for the purpose.
From what I have read online recently, she might be correct on all these points.
Another problem has come up though. I have discovered that I feel extremely sexually aroused at the idea of having so much control over the sex of a beautiful woman to the point of causing insomnia. I am sure I will get over the insomnia soon enough, but I now feel a need to try to avoid her out of fear that I might be tempted to try to tempt her when that is clearly not what she wants (though I do get the impression she might be sexually attracted to me which certainly does not help the situation at all). Failing to uphold her request cannot be good for our friendship in the long run no doubt.
She seems to want to further develop our friendship but wants to keep it friends only. Though I would happily do that normally, holding her keys arouses me to no end.
I have considered giving the keys to another trustworthy female friend of mine without telling either the belt wearer who has the keys nor the new keyholder whose keys they are and their purpose. This would allow me to pursue the friendship and to escape from the constant sexual arousal of holding the keys while also fulfilling my promise to the beltwearer.

I would appreciate any ideas you may have on how best to solve this problem.

Chosen Keyholder
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

I have also considered returning the keys to her and explaining the reason, though I do not think it s good idea that she know I am sexuslly attracted to her. I have been trying to hide it from her out of fear that that combined with what I believe to be her sexual attraction to me would work against precisely what she wants me to do.
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

Also, though she never specified the nature of her 'sexual addiction' and I never asked, would it be a good idea to bring up the topic and recommend she see a sex therapist? I get the impression from this site that most belt wearers wear a belt as a fetish or lifestyle choice and not as a device for teaching self-control. I do question its use as a therapeutic device. Any ideas on that front too?
User avatar
msknight
Posts: 262
Joined: 09 Apr 2014, 22:47
Sex: Female
Contact:

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by msknight »

Wow. This sounds awkward on so many levels.

One way to look at is ... you're enjoying the feelings, but if you break the bond now and the key is returned ... then the bubble bursts. ... hopefully, this thought should keep you sane while you work something out longer term.

Obviously, with very little information to go on, there is not much in the way of reasonable advice that can be given ... and I get the feeling that no matter how much you write, there is no advice that anyone can give you that you don't already know.

... which is basically that you are faced with a number of choices, each one has various outcomes depending on how and when it is handled. And the only person who can best judge that, is you.

Personally, I'd say, enjoy the feelings that being in power is giving you ... but keep talking with her. Dig gently to find out whether she has feelings for you that are stronger than just friendship. One of the questions to potentially ask her, much further down the line, is whether she gave any thought to what her actions might have had on your emotions, or did she count on you not having a heart! ;-)

Good luck. Time is on your side, though.
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

Thank you, msknight (or is it Ms. Knight?),

I must admit that I think better with my head than with my hormones, and it would seem so does she. No surprise there.

When we have texted one another, and also in the daytime when it seemed her rational mind was fully in gear and her libido more subsided, she has made it quite clear that she wants to be friends, develop the frienship, but like any other friendship. It's only when we were together alone at my place one evening that she seemed a little flirtatious at times, and though I tried to ignore it, I can't deny that I might have ended up expressing some interest in her too (I just hope she didn't pick up on it, but she's not stupid and I'm sure she did). I do not want her to know, but I'm sure she suspects because of my reaction that evening that I am quite into her, even if we have treated one another strictly as friends since.
I think the solution is clear when I think with a rational mind. Clearly, based on her objectives, the keyholder must be someone she cannot possibly become sexually interested in. I'm pretty sure she is heterosexual, so I'm thinking next time I meet her (in the daytime of course), maybe over lunch at my place, to tell her about my attraction to her and recommend that I give the keys to another female friend of mine without telling her what the keys are for.
Though she did not get into detail, she did mention an issue with 'sex addiction' a few times. I am thinking to suggest she might want to see a therapist about it since from what I have read about it recently, sex addiction rarely has to do with sex but usually other mental health issues, sexual behavour being merely a symptom of greater problems.
Of course none of this would be my business usually, but if she's giving me a set of keys and then telling me it's essentially for therapeutic reasons, she's essentially implicating me in her therapy. She's a wonderful person, and if I take everything she has told me at face value (and I have no reason not to believe her), I guess I should applaud her for having had the courage to seek help with her problems. I certainly cannot criticize that!
I guess it's clear what the right course of action is logically. Emotionally, that's something else, but I guess the best thing to do is to bite the emotional bullet and get the intellectual job over with next time we meet.
After typing all of that, I'm still not sure I'm right. I know you cannot really advize since you're not in the situation, but does what I've typed so far make any sense at least? At least some logic in it, or is it just bizarre thinking? My first time in this situation. What do you think?
User avatar
msknight
Posts: 262
Joined: 09 Apr 2014, 22:47
Sex: Female
Contact:

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by msknight »

Actually, it's Ms M.S.Knight ... I know :-)

It sounds like your head has the honourable path. My respect to you for that.

All I can say from here is, good luck. At least you've learned a few new things about yourself!
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

Thanks again, Ms. Knight.
I should meet with her this weekend and will keep you posted.
On another note, I had been thinking of something else too from the day she told me she was wearing a chastity belt and its purpose. I have a bit of a compulsive special habit of my own I must confess and so explored and since learnt that there is also such a thing as a male chastity cage.
I feel like copying her idea for myself. She seemed to have given her safety in a medical emergency some thought by ensuring that she would still hold the keys to her chastity belt, albeit locked inside a portable safe whether at home or where she travels, while giving the key to the safe to someone else. Is 24/7/365 wear of a chastity belt (or cage) potentially dangerous enough to have to consider such a precaution or was she being overly cautious? And what about a chastity cage? Same concern?
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

Now that I think about it, I am not even following the advice I am planning to give her for the same problems in me. But I still see a benefit to the cage.
fitherin
Posts: 503
Joined: 13 Jun 2013, 10:53
Sex: Male

cage wearing

Post by fitherin »

Hello
As I own a male steel belt from Tollyboy and have owned and worn a cage type device,I may be better qualified to answer some of your question?
Purchasing a male device is easy BUT you need to know a lot about your body and you need to consider your your lifestyle and what clothes you wear to be able to wear such an item.
Body,In any cage device there is limited growing room to allow changes in mood/body state or stimulation.Once locked on sleeping caged takes weeks of disturbed sleep before your body adjusts.Also are you a shower or a grower
Once caged you will always need to sit like a female to pee!
Lifestyle. Do you take part in heavy contact sports/Football/rugby/wrestling ouch!
Worklife. Do you sit in a car to drive/Sit at a desk
Clothes. Loose fitting boxers are more comfortable
For a start off wih a cage I would say a Plastic/polycarbon/silicone device.
I personally had a CB3000 and wore it 30 days at a time. removed. shave and clean cage inside and out and refit. The shave was to stop hair getting caught in between joints and hurting/getting infected.
The Tollyboy is a totally different concept like all male steel full belts is best custom built to suit your body.Also have there own problems with hiding waistband under everyday work/office wear.
Maybe be worth changing your profile as it says female??????????????? although your first posting says hetro sexual male.
Chosen Keyholder
Posts: 46
Joined: 17 Dec 2014, 03:21
Sex: Male

Re: Seeking advice concerning keyholding.

Post by Chosen Keyholder »

I noticed the that after saving it. I will look again to see if I can change it to male.

Thanks again for the advice.
Post Reply